There you are.
Sometimes we find ourselves in a place without being absolutely sure how we got there. I’ve considered how and what to write about this for the better part of the last year. Even now, I’m not absolutely sure what may end up on this page. I think my readers may fall into at least three categories on this. First, are those to whom I would likely give an explanation of the events of the last couple of years anyway. Some have asked and already know. Some have not asked, or said that they want to and, for various reasons, just haven’t. Second are those who may crave the gossip and have no other reason than to simply want to be in “the know.” Third are they who, like me, have found themselves at a place in life that looks very different than where they expected to be and they are not sure how they got here. To them I say, “welcome to this strange club.” I hope that, as I learn to navigate these foreign waters, my experiences will help you navigate yours as well.
There have been times that I have gone on a run that, although I have started on familiar trails, I have ended up exploring new trails and wondering where I am and how I got there. Each turn and fork in my journey seemed like the best decision at the time, but led me further and further off of my intended trail. Thus far I have always found my way, but there have been times that it took me much longer and further than I had intended.
Like those trails, I have managed my life by choosing what seemed best, at least most the time. My tale includes family, friends, career, trains (at least one), a lot of emotional and physical pain, a lot of time, and some professional help. You’ll have to buy the book (when I finally finish it) if you want the whole story in one place, but some of it will be here and I hope it helps.
As the song by Dawes says, “things happen, that’s all they ever do.” Some people say that “everything happens for a reason,” but sometimes the reason is that we made a decision, or (more likely) a series of decisions that led us to the place where we are now. For good or bad, wherever we are is a result of decisions we have made to get there. Further, WHO we are is well defined by the sum of all decisions we have made up to this point in our lives.
It was not too many years ago that most who know me would have described me as a person of integrity; a person who, when I was falsely accused of misconduct, it was automatically not believed. I have experienced that more than once. In the last few years, however, I have found myself on the other side of that, and I have to ask myself why that is.
A good friend made the observation that, although we tend to jump to defending ourselves, it is often helpful to examine what part we may have played and what responsibility may fall on our own heads. That is where I have been focusing recently.
Truth be told, there is no greater factor in determining where we end up, than the decisions we, ourselves, make concerning the direction in which we are heading. I invite you to join me in this discussion about recovering, redirecting, and reestablishing the direction of our lives towards where (and who) we want to be. My goal is to do so for myself and, in so doing, help others to do the same.
