Moving Forward… Again

I love to write and I have a story to tell. We all do. Over the years that I have been maintaining this blog I have written about teaching, politics, and religion. I have included running race reports and personal experiences. It has been a place for me to include some original poetry and a place for me to share my hurts and frustrations. One area in which I have tried to be consistent is in sharing what I have learned from these experiences in the hopes that others may learn from me and find strength and encouragement if they are facing some of the same issues. I also hope that those who feel alone in their struggles might feel a little less so. I keep threatening to write a book, but I have, thus far, found a reason to stop shortly after (or before) I start.

As I start again, after a significant break in writing, I hope for three things. First, that this avenue provides a medium through which I can voice my story and that it helps me process my own situation. Second, that there will be some readers who, because of my writing, gain a better understanding of their own, or their loved ones, struggles and are better equipped to seek out the help and support they need. Finally, that there will be those who feel less alone in their pain. Isolation is the single most detrimental factor of depression and realizing that we are not alone in our suffering frees us to seek out the help and support we need.

I have to clarify that I am not a doctor, nor a psychiatrist, psychologist, nor any other kind of therapist or medical expert. I am speaking from my own experiences and one who suffers from any of these, or similar symptoms, should contact their personal physician and care team to get the treatment specific to their own needs. I am not offering any medical advice of any kind. My experiences are specific to me and my situation. What works for me may not work well for someone else and what doesn’t work for me may be exactly what someone else needs. Treatments for mental health issues are based on biology, psychology, chemistry, and statistics. Some “guess and check” is involved. If you start a treatment that doesn’t work well for you, has adverse effects, or no effect, contact your care team immediately. If you have serious thoughts of suicide or self-harm, please contact your care team or call 1-800-273-8255. Regardless of what you tell yourself in the moment, there are people who need you. There are people who love you. There are good days ahead of you. Your last good day was not your last good day.

Two things stop me from writing, maybe three, prevent me from telling my story. One; the self-thought that no one cares or would read what I have to say. Those who have seen me speak, or read my writings, probably do not realize that I have the constant thought that what I have to say is not interesting to anyone else, so why say it? Second; I’m not sure how to find and reach the right audience. I’m not really good at self promotion and (see reason one) it seems somewhat narcissistic to go about telling people who may not be interested about my story. Finally; I’m a fairly private person and telling my story in a public forum seems a lot like airing my dirty laundry in public and I, generally, prefer to deal with things on my own and in private. This is something that, again, may surprise those who know me well because I have been trying, in recent years, to be transparent and to share my experiences in order to help others work through their own.

In order to push myself forward, I have to answer these. First; all I can do is tell my story and hope that it reaches someone who needs to hear it or finds comfort/encouragement/ motivation in it. We have all heard the story of the kid throwing starfish on the beach into the sea. A passerby points out that he can’t possibly make a difference in the huge numbers of starfish on the beach. The boy picks up another and throws it into the sea. “It made a difference to that one.” He states. I’ve often recalled this story throughout my teaching career in realizing that I can only have an effect on those in my locus of control and I cannot affect anyone if I do nothing. I have to remind myself of this again and again in my new situation. Second; I’m relying on social media and word of mouth to reach those that I can reach. I may learn more about marketing as I go. I may make connections with people who are more expert in that arena and will help me to reach more, but I cannot let this stop me from sharing. Even if I only reach one, or a few, I may be the only, or the first, who touches one who then gets the help they need. Finally; if I am to be who I believe I am created to be, I must set aside my privacy and step around the doubters and the naysayers who would, inadvertently or not, be obstacles to me. In addition, this forum is a processing tool for me. If you are reading this and you need to process, I am available. I am a personal mentor (life coach) and I can work with you to make progress in whatever you need. I also know full well where my strengths lie and where they do not. If you need a doctor or a therapist, I encourage you to reach out to your personal physician. if you need a mentor, you can reach out to me here or visit my website.

Truth be told, this is a first step. You are invited to take it with me. The last couple of years have presented us all with new challenges. Yours may be bigger than mine, they may not be. It doesn’t matter. Your challenges are uniquely yours. If my experiences can help you through yours then I am glad I was able to provide you some of what you need. If we can encourage each other, all the better. We all need a reason to move forward. Find yours. Here are some of mine…

I will try to write more often. Eventually, I may turn this into a book. If you know of anyone who needs this type of support or encouragement, please forward my blog and/or my website. I can be your personal mentor/coach for career, school, life, and running. I am also a wedding officiant and can work with you or your wedding planner to plan your special day, from premarital classes to the license and post wedding support.